


Why Bottling Things Up Is Never Wise

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Family Feels, Implied Bullying, M/M, Working things out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 22:30:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13867341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Lately, Rafael was acting really out of the character. He once used to be very outspoken and quite mischievous child, but now that side of him appeared to be gone. Magnus didn't know what the hell was happening, but suddenly Rafael refused to go with Alec to the Institute.(Rafael is made fun of by other kids for having a ''different'' family than them. He tries to handle things on his own, but one day he just snaps and ends up saying things he doesn't really mean).





	Why Bottling Things Up Is Never Wise

Lately, Rafael was acting really out of the character. He once used to be very outspoken and quite mischievous child, but now that side of him appeared to be gone. Magnus didn't know what the hell was happening, but suddenly Rafael refused to go with Alec to the Institute, where he would train with other children, or sometimes spar with Alec in private. Now, Magnus didn’t mind looking over both of the boys, in fact, he was more than happy to do it. While he was teaching Max new kinds of spells, he gave Rafael books to read about the history of the Shadowhunter world, or if the boy felt like it, he even trained with him. Usually, Rafael loved that, but lately, he seemed a bit distant towards everyone. He kept things to himself and he rarely smiled. But what worried Magnus the most were sudden outbursts of anger, which Rafael couldn’t control apparently. Well, then again, it wasn’t all that surprising since he was bottling down something and because he was still just a child, he couldn’t handle the pressure.

While Alec was at the Institute, Magnus was back at the loft, currently looking for some ingredients he was going to use to brew a potion later, while Max and Rafael were playing together in the living room. Rafael was sitting in the corner of the room and was reading his favourite book, while the younger boy was playing with a ball, but quite quickly got bored of playing on his own, so he slowly made his way to his older brother and gently tapped the other’s shoulder, who let out an annoyed groan and looked up at Max, who was holding a ball in his hands and was wearing a huge smile on his face.

“Wanna play with me, Rafe?” asked Max politely and Rafael only shook his head, turned around from his brother and went back to reading the book. “Why?” whined the little warlock and stomped with his little feet against the floor. “All you do is read this stupid book. Reading is boring, let’s go play with the ball.”

“I said I don’t want to, Max,” said Rafael, who was already all out of patience and Max pressed his lips angrily together, because he didn’t like this side of his brother. Even though he was just eight years old, Max noticed that Rafael had changed quite a bit and he found himself missing his old brother. “Playing with ball is childish and I’m not a child anymore,” added Rafael and Max let out an offended groan.

“I’m not childish!” said Max and let the ball fall from his hands. A little smirk spread across his face as he snapped with his fingers and made the book fly up in the air, leaving Rafael’s hands and the older boy rolled his eyes as he looked up and saw the book flying across the living room. Max made the book fly into their bedroom and then with his magic, he locked the door, a victorious smile spread across his face. “Now we can play together. The annoying book is gone,” explained Max.

“I said I don’t want to play with you,” said Rafael and got onto his feet, angrily stomping across the room, going to the couch and he then switched on the TV, wanting to see if there was something interesting on.

“You never want to play with me anymore,” whined Max and pouted, but then went to the couch, took the remote control from Rafael’s hands and hid it behind his back, changing the channel to local news and that was when Rafael had it enough.

“It’s because you’re boring,” said Rafael and Max narrowed his eyes.

“I’m not boring, you are!” accused him Max.

“Give me back the remote,” demanded Rafael and Max shook his head.

“No,” said Max and stuck his tongue out. That got Rafael angry and he acted on impulse; he pushed Max back against the couch, the younger one letting out a surprised yelp, because that was the first time Rafael got aggressive towards him. In the state of shock, Max forgot all about the remote, so Rafael could easily take it away from him, but the older boy wasn’t done yet.

“Why can’t you ever listen?!” snapped Rafael, Max flinching and his eyes grew huge when he watched Rafael going to his toys, smashing his car built from Lego blocks on purpose and Max let out a loud ‘no’, because it took him forever to put that thing together. In the heap of the moment, Rafael took Max’s drawing that he drew earlier that day and tore it apart, which pushed Max over the edge and he sprinted towards his older brother so hard that he pushed him towards the floor and thus the fight was in the full start.

Magnus, who was still in his storage room, suddenly went into the living room when he heard screaming and yelling, eyes widening when he saw that Max and Rafael were in the middle of a fight, which was the first for him. Trying to remain calm, Magnus stepped closer to the two of them and tried resolving the fight in a peaceful manner. “Boys, stop it!” said Magnus, his voice loud, but the two of them didn’t even hear him. Magnus narrowed his eyes, snapped with his fingers and was able to tear the boys apart with his magic. “I said, stop it!” he said again, his two sons now hearing him and he then instructed both of them to take a seat on the couch, Max and Rafael sitting on it as further away as possible from each other.

Max’s hair was all messy and his elbow hurt, eyes widening when he saw that he was bleeding. Rafael, on the other hand, had a few scratches on his arms, but that was it, Max’s lower lip trembling as he kept looking at his bleeding elbow. Max felt horrible for attacking Rafael, but then again, he didn’t understand what he did so wrong before. Rafael ruined his toy and his drawing! Why was he acting that way?! Tears welled up in his eyes and he looked down, Magnus folding arms on top of his chest, feeling his heart breaking when he saw Max breaking down, but he needed to be objective in this case.

“Now, tell me, what the hell happened in here?” asked Magnus and Rafael quickly looked away, Max looking at Magnus, eyes still full of tears and the man nodded, urging Max to start talking.

“I wanted to play with Rafe,” said Max with a small voice. “He was reading that boring book and I wanted to play with my ball with him. But he didn’t want to and when he turned on the TV, I took the remote control from him. Rafe pushed me against the couch, then broke my car and tore my drawing,” said Max and pointed to his broken car, Magnus’ eyes widening and when he looked at Rafael, the other was still looking away. “And I got angry and then we started fighting. I’m sorry Papa,” said Max with a little voice, biting into his lower lip to prevent it from trembling.

Magnus nodded, appreciating that Max was telling him the truth. Like always, the little boy couldn’t tell a single lie. On the other hand, Rafael was just stubbornly looking away from the two of them. “Well, you know Max, it wasn’t very right of you to be disturbing Rafael when he was reading his book,” said Magnus and Max gave him a little nod, holding onto his aching elbow. “And it wasn’t right that you two got into that fight, right?” asked Magnus, little Max nodding.

“I know, I’m sorry,” stammered Max.

“I think you should be apologising to Rafe, not me.”

“Rafe, I’m sorry,” whispered Max and Rafael only shrugged, but kept looking away from him.

“Very good, Max,” said Magnus and then looked to Rafael. “Now, Rafe, I think you have something to tell Max too. Even though it wasn’t right of him to be bothering and teasing you like that, you still went overboard when you broke his car and tore his drawing,” said Magnus and Rafael shrugged, but didn’t give him any verbal replies.

“Not really,” said Rafael after a while and Magnus pressed his lips together, feeling frustrated. It was obvious that Rafael was shutting him out again, going into his little safe world and Magnus didn’t know what to do. He tried talking about things with Rafael in the past – both he and Alexander did – but Rafael always said that nothing was bothering him, which was an obvious lie. But if wouldn’t tell him, then what should he do? Magnus bit into his lower lip and let out a little sigh.

“Rafael, talk to me. What’s wrong?” asked Magnus and Rafael finally looked at him.

“Nothing.”

“Rafael,” said Magnus softly and got down onto his knees, kneeling next to Rafael. “Come on, it’s obvious that something is bothering you,” said Magnus and made a short pause. “You can talk to me about everything. I’m your father, so please-”

“No, you aren’t,” said Rafael suddenly and got onto his legs, his entire body shaking. His words caught Magnus by surprise and he needed some time to recover. Rafael knew that he shouldn’t be saying those things and he didn’t really mean them, but in the heap of the moment, he couldn’t control what was coming out of his mouth.  “You aren’t my real father and neither is Alec!” he snapped and marched towards his room.

“Rafael, where is this coming from?” asked Magnus, feeling his heart dropping and he hurried after his son. “Wait let’s talk.”

“Leave me alone!”

“Rafael Lightwood-Bane, you will listen to me and-”

“Go away!” screamed the boy, his heart beating like crazy and he quickly opened the door of his room, then slammed it shut with all his might and locked himself inside of the room.

“Open the door!” said Magnus and knocked on the door. “Now.”

Magnus received no replies and after trying a few more times, he decided to let the boy calm down on his own. He knew that if he pushed things further, he would make everything much worse than it already was. His heart was shattered when he remembered Rafael telling him that he wasn’t his real father and he puffed his cheeks and went back into the living room, where Max was still sitting on the couch, silent, because Rafael’s words surprised him too. It was only then when Magnus noticed that Max was bleeding and he quickly scooped the boy up in his lap as he sat on top of the couch.

“Oh, you’re bleeding, my little Blueberry,” whispered Magnus, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in his heart and with a snap of his fingers, he made Max’s wound disappear and he let out a little sigh, Max turning to him in his lap and he gave him a big hug, Magnus’ eyes widening and he returned the hug.

“I love you, Papa,” muttered Max and made a short pause. “I don’t think the same… you and dad are my real parents,” he explained, trying to make Magnus feeling a bit better, the man smiling at his son, nodding and he then chuckled as Max conjured some butterflies with his magic to fly around the room, trying to cheer up his father and a little smile spread across Magnus’ face, appreciating Max’s attempts in trying to make him feel better, but as Max went back to playing – only after he made sure that Magnus was feeling better – the smile on the warlock’s lips disappeared and he chewed on his lower lip nervously.

This was something that he feared of happening ever since he and Alec adopted the boys. They never lied to them about being adopted or hid something from them. When Rafael was adopted, he accepted Magnus and Alec as his parents almost immediately, so Magnus didn’t know what had gotten into the boy lately. He feared that he might had done something wrong. Or Alec. But he was sure that there had to be something more to it. Magnus was sitting on the couch and was thinking about everything until Alec came back home from the Institute and was surprised when he walked inside of the apartment and all that could be heard was deadly silence. His eyes widened when he saw Max playing alone in the living room, while Magnus was on the couch, thinking about something, face twisted in worry and sadness. Alec narrowed his eyes; what the hell happened when he wasn’t at home?

“Magnus, I’m home,” said Alec and it was then that Magnus was snapped back to reality and he got onto his legs, forcing up a little smile, but it soon disappeared and he looked down, Alec lifting his face by hugging his chin, lifting his head up. Alec became really worried when Magnus didn’t return him the kiss as he leaned in to kiss his husband and he frowned. “What happened?” he asked, Magnus looking down, walking away, going into the living room and Alec followed him.

Before Magnus was able to reply him, Max ran up to Alec and gave him a little hug, then kissed his cheek and went back to playing, seemingly forgetting all about the fight he and Rafael had earlier. Magnus, on the other hand, couldn’t and because he wasn’t saying anything that worried Alec even more. “The boys got into a fight before,” whispered Magnus suddenly and Alec gave him a surprised look. “Yeah, but that’s not all,” he added and Alec stepped closer to him.

“By the Angel, what happened?” asked Alec, his stomach dropping when he saw the amount of sadness and pain on Magnus’ face. “Where’s Rafe?” he then added and Magnus looked down.

“In his room,” stammered Magnus. “When I tried to calm down the boys and get them to apologise to each other, Rafe, he…” said Magnus, his voice trailing off. “He said that he doesn’t think of us two as his real parents,” he then forced out and Alec felt shivers running up his spine.

“What?”

“Yes,” said Magnus and made a short pause. “I don’t know… I didn’t do or say anything. He was acting really out of his character. And when I tried to get him to talk, he just walked away and locked himself inside of the room.”

“Oh god,” said Alec and wrapped his arms around Magnus, because he could tell how shaken up he was. Alec was surprised and devastated to hear what Rafael said to Magnus, but it hurt the warlock more than the hunter, only because the wish of having a family and children had been something he always wished for, but couldn’t have for many centuries. “I’ll go talk to him,” said Alec and then broke their hug.

“Okay,” said Magnus and slowly made his way to the boys’ room, walking behind Alec and kept his distance.

“Rafael, open up the door,” said Alec, knocking on the door gently, because he didn’t want Rafael to snap again. The sudden change of behaviour was concerning to Alec as well and he was determined to come to the bottom of it. Alec sighed, because he received no replies for quite some time, but he was stubborn as well and wasn’t going to back down. “Rafael, open the door. Now,” tried Alec again, his voice much louder and a few more moments passed, until the door was finally unlocked, but Rafael didn’t dare to open it quite yet. Alec looked around to Magnus, who gave him a little nod and Alec took in a deep breath. “I’m going inside,” he said, just trying to let Rafael know that and then he slowly opened the door.

Magnus stepped closer to the door and his eyes widened when his eyes found Rafael, who was sitting on the floor, curled up into a small ball and his entire body was shaking, little sniffles being heard and Alec felt his heart breaking when he heard that their son was crying. Rafael slowly looked up and Magnus sighed; the boy’s eyes were puffy and red; it’s been more than obvious that he had been crying a lot. Alec bit into his lower lip and walked closer to the little Shadowhunter, Magnus right behind him. Rafael looked at Magnus and broke down in tears again.

“I-I’m sorry,” managed to get out Rafael in between his sobs and he squeezed himself against the wall, feeling terrible. He didn’t mean to say what he did before and he hated himself for saying that to Magnus. Of course he thought about Magnus and Alec as his real parents, but a lot was on his plate lately and he just… snapped. As simple as that. “Papa, I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean what I said earlier,” he then added and Magnus sighed, feeling weight falling off his chest, but he still felt uneasy. He needed to know what was bothering the little one lately.

“It’s okay,” said Magnus and sat down on the floor next to Rafael, Alec doing the same, both of them hugging their son at the same time, Alec placing a gentle kiss on top of Rafael’s head and for the next few moments, they sat like that until Rafael calmed down a bit.

“Rafe… tell us, what’s wrong?” asked Alec and placed a hand on top of his son’s head. “You’ve been acting out lately. I know you’re trying to be a big boy and don’t make us worry, but not telling us is gonna make me and Magnus worry even more,” said Alec, Magnus nodding and Rafael bit onto his lower lip, ready to come clean to his parents.

“The kids at the Institute are teasing me and making fun of me,” said Rafael, finally becoming clear why he refused to go to the Institute again.

“What?” asked Magnus.

“Yes,” hiccupped the boy and started wiping away the tears. “T-they’re saying that my family’s weird or that we aren’t really a family. They think it’s weird that I have two dads and no mom,” he said and looked down, Magnus looking over at Alec, who let out a small sigh. That shouldn’t be too surprising to him. Despite the Clave allowing Magnus and Alec getting married all those years ago, some Shadowhunter families were still like that. “Or they laugh because one of my parents is a Shadowhunter, but the other is a Downworlder.”

“Oh Rafe,” whispered Magnus and hugged the boy again.

“You should’ve told us sooner,” said Alec softly and pressed his lips together.

“B-but a Shadowhunter is supposed to be tough and able to handle things on his own and I-”

“Rafe, you’re still only ten,” said Alec and shook his head. “Forget about Shadowhunter’s duties when you’re still a child. Worry about them later on,” said Alec softly and ruffled Rafael’s hair gently.

“Okay,” said Rafael and looked at Magnus. “Are you still angry with me, Papa?”

“No, of course not,” said Magnus and planted a kiss on top of the little Shadowhunter’s forehead and Rafael felt a lot better after that, because he thought that his father would hate him after the horrible things he said to him.

“I’m really sorry for what I said earlier. I didn’t mean to… I just… couldn’t control what I was saying.”

“I know, sweetie, it’s completely okay. I have said things I didn’t really mean quite a lot of times,” said Magnus and that calmed down Rafael completely.

“Let this be a lesson for the next time, okay? When something’s bothering, tell us right away,” said Alec and Magnus nodded. “Bottling things up is never a good thing. Trust me, I should know,” he said and made a short pause.

“I understand, dad,” said Rafael with a small voice.

“And don’t worry about what those kids said, they’re only jealous because you have such cool parents,” said Magnus with a smile. “It’s hard to top being the head of the Institute and High warlock of Brooklyn,” said Magnus and Rafael giggled.

“True, I have the coolest parents ever,” said Rafael. “And I won’t listen to them ever again, because I know they’re wrong and stupid,” said Rafael and Alec gave him a little nod.

“Now, go to Max. You still owe him an apology,” said Magnus and Rafael nodded and went to the living room, the two brothers making up right after that.

Magnus looked over at Alec, who wore a troubled expression on his face and Magnus sighed. “What’s on your mind, angel?”

“I’m going to have a little talk with the parents of the children tomorrow,” said Alec and narrowed his eyes. “Because this needs to stop. It’s about time as well.”

“I know,” said Magnus and nodded. “But don’t expect things to change overnight, Alexander. Unfortunately, there will always be assholes on the world, whether you like it or not. But you can choose if you’re gonna let their stupid remarks bother you or not,” said Magnus and shrugged.

“You’re right, I know,” said Alec and then made a short pause, a smile spreading across his face. “It doesn’t matter what others think, anyway,” said the hunter and leaned against Magnus. “As long as we’re happy and together, that’s all that matters,” he said. “But if someone threatens my son again, I’ll fight them.”

“Even if they happen to be a ten your old?” asked Magnus and chuckled.

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my family safe,” said Alec and Magnus grinned.

“Aw, my hero,” said Magnus and kissed his husband gently.

Things were calm after that. Rafael had another long talk with his parents, them telling him to deal with bullies. They also talked about the things the kids were saying, the boy understanding that they were just stupid remarks, because they were a real family, no matter what others said. Rafael went back to the Institute and when kids tried to make fun of him again, he just made all of them shut up by telling them that they were only jealous of him for having such cool parents and their stupid comments never bothered little Rafael ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> Comments and kudos are well appreciated ^^


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